The Unknown

I want to go back to the days where riding my bike was enough to make me feel alive. The days where my mother’s hug was enough for me to feel better, before the doctors and the pills and increasing fear in the back of my mind, which is so often present. You’re convinced this will help you continue living but you’re not living at all.

Now your life is at a crossroads. You were so safe wrapped up in your education but it’s all coming to an end. The light at the end of the tunnel is blinding you for all the wrong reasons. You had always hoped for this day to come but now that it’s here it’s not looking as sweet. Will twenty thousand miles make any difference at all to your sadness? Or will it only fuel the fire growing in your heart and the pits of your stomach.

Your mind changes to your other life. You’ve found an amazing girl, she’s everything you had ever dreamt of, and everything you’ve ever hoped would walk into your life. She’s the perfect girl but just that, a girl. Your lives are so different. The stages you are at are completely poles apart. Despite the fact that someone who consumes your heart has graced you, you continue to feel empty. You’re to young to be this fucked up but that’s how it is these days. Fifty years ago they dealt with war, now we just deal with war in our heads and our minds. They dealt with evil dictators, but now we are the evil dictators and we dictate ourselves.

It’s a bitter sweet symphony this life.